Day 10 - Meet Jonas Day

Well all this basically does is shamelessly plug the book. You're supposed to go to the website thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com which just goes to the book's authors website. Nothing special. I was at first interested in this day because it says, "His first week (Jonas') he has already been arrested once and lost his girlfriend." I thought that Jonas lost his girlfriend from the day you're supposed to throw away something you love, but alas it was on the day you're supposed to gaze at everyone and wonder if they are your soulmate, guess she wasn't his.

Well nothing as exciting has happened to me yet, maybe I'm half-assing it. Motivation on the way!

Day 9 - Do Something Before Breakfast

"As any peasant worth his salt will tell you, the early morning is the best part of the day, so set the alarm at 5 o'clock and rise and shine."

This was particularly cruel as it was a Saturday. I got up at 5am fed Lego, tried to watch something (nothing on!), tried to wake up Andrew, but then I thought, "Screw this, it's a f**king Saturday." And I went back to bed.

Oh well.

Day 8 - Addiction Free Day

FAIL

Day 7 - Masturbate at 13:56

For of all you Americans, that's 1:56 p.m.

Unfortunately as I was super swamped at work at 13:56 and did not have a chance to masturbate. But I read over the page and it's an obvious statement at the difference between women and men. The "woman" section includes a lengthy "erotic" story (which I swear is about some woman in the night who has to remove her drenched clothes and comes face to face with a werewolf who proceeds to rape her. NO JOKE!)

And the boy section just says," Two blonds. Doing it. Together"

Ok I get it, but I rather get aroused to a porn than to a werewolf raping some woman.

In fact I am offended...BAD authors!

Day 6 - Debut Novel

"Today write the opening sentence to your debut novel."

-It is a job that pays a lot, servicing someone, and I got paid with fame.-

My debut novel would of course be about the life times and tribulations of Ashley Alexandra Dupré. She's the former "escort" whose relationship with Gov. Eliot Spitzer led to his resignation. The salacious relationship led her to become the new advice columnist for the New York Post. If this isn't a success story I don't know what is, and people read crap like this so I'd probably make millions.

As for me I'll take her advice about how to properly fake an orgasm and look somewhere else for relationship advice.

Find her column here.

Day 5 - Out of Order

"Mass social experiment. Cut out and stick this sign (says out of order) on any item of public infrastructure you might encounter... The aim is to achieve comprehensive social breakdown across the US."

All day I tired to think of a good place to put my sign. Unfortunately I didn't get out too much. I did want to put the sign on the boys bathroom at UW across from my class but I never had a chance. Turns out I get really paranoid about getting caught. On my way back to my car I decided to tape the sign around the drivers door handle to the Buick next to mine. Muahahaha. I can just see the person questioning "Why them? Why would someone do this?" Next nervous breakdown. Then of course they would cause a nervous breakdown in their loved ones, and so on until the whole US has broken down. All because I put an "Out of Order" sign on someone's car handle :)

Day 4 - World Coloring in Day

Today I am to color the flat world map I am given. Green for been there, blue for intend to get there this year, yellow for intend to go there before I die, and red...happy to never set foot there again. This is how it goes...basically:

Green:

US, Mexico, Canada, Jamaica, Aruba, Spain, France, Italy, Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, whatever Yugoslavia is known as these days.

Blue:

Italy, Florida, Vegas

Yellow:

Brazil, Venezuela, Peru, Chile, South Africa, Madagascar, Egypt, the rest of Europe, India, Thailand, China, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Papanew Guinea, Turkey... (this list will go on).

Red:

Happy to never go to French Canada, the middle of South America (Bolivia, Paraguay), most of Africa (Kenya, Chad, Sudan, Zambia...), some of Eastern Europe (Latvia, Ukraine, Romania...), don't want to get too much into Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Iraq, Yemen.

Through this exercise I learned that there are actually a lot more places I don't want to go than I thought. I found out I can go to Mexico for $600 for 5 days all inclusive, I just wish I could go. I thought I always wanted to "travel the world" but looks like there aren't many places I want to go, oh well.

Side Note: A great guy I know died Christmas Day. Today was his funeral. I want to share the two most important things I've learned: Tell people you love them, and hug people, like really, really hug people. That's what Charlie did... and that's what Charlie, through his life, was able to teach me.

Day 3 - Throw something away that you like.

Well mark this as the first day I cheated. I know some of you may have had high hopes as to how this all might go, and that I would be widely successful in my endeavor. Sorry to disappoint you so soon, but the sooner you know the better, right? I have been trying to think all day of the one thing I would give away. My spa gift? My piece? My dignity? Turns out I had a really hard time with this one. So Andrew reminded me that on New Years Day I gave a favorite hat away and he mentioned, that I should just use that for my Day 3. So here we are ... On New Years, midst everyone congratulating each other on another year down, I had a girl next to me complimenting me on my little top hat. Now this top hat is little, I got it at Teatro ZinZanni, and it was totally fucking cute. But as this random stranger kept on telling me how cute it was I decided, she needed it more than me. So I gave it to her, and told her that all she needs to do is pass it on next New Years. I loved the hat, talked about it all the time, and now, it has been passed on to another. And I hope, random stranger girl, that next year, you share the love.

Sorry I cheated...

Day 2 - The Love of Your Life

"Today gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of your life, the one destined for you and only you alone, and whether you may be passing them by forever...act in consequence."

I woke up next too my boyfriend Andrew and gazed into his eyes, "Are you my one true love?" Then I saw my baby boy Lego (cat) at my feet, "Are you my one true love?" I started to think that I do not have one true love but rather many Andrew, Lego, my mom, my friends... And, well, that's much better than having just one.

Although the gas attendant that helped me was pretty helpful ;)

Day 1 - Warm up

"As this is your first day you should warm up with an easy task that will only change your life a little bit."

I chose to "go on a one minute hunger strike." I thought this would be appropriate since today is New Years day and I vowed to lose some weight. The one minute hunger strike also wasn't very hard. I just kinda had to sit here for a minute, which I've been doing anyway, so really it's cause I'm too lazy to "do one press-up" or any of the other 18 items.

Ah day one task done. Now I have to figure out how to make Blogger my bitch.